last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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