Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
