he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
