wat bout pragnant strippers??
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
