I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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