we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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