Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My bed smells like the plague
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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