She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
