We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
