i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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