He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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