i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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