So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Enjoy the penises
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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