im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
