Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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