he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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