I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
