Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
