like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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