So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
