He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
