STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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