I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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