they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
