ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
