wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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