Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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