I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
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Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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