I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
