I think I died a long time ago.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
