I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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