You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
