dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
