she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
