mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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