alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
