it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize