Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
