# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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