And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
