I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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