Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
