Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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