Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines

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  (909): it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines http://tfl.nu/1cpi
  Replies (9) Good night (1435) Bad night (2648)
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  (415): View more from California

  the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.

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  (415): the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties. http://tfl.nu/jpbi
  Replies (25) Good night (12946) Bad night (704)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

  (361): View more from Texas

  I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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  (361): yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable. (361): I just can't bring boyfriends home. http://tfl.nu/mnpp
  Replies (29) Good night (1111) Bad night (4629)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.

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  (618): I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments. http://tfl.nu/a8pg
  Replies (8) Good night (5991) Bad night (1105)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.

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  (618): It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me. http://tfl.nu/1449
  Replies (24) Good night (5474) Bad night (1459)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.

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  (917): You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door. http://tfl.nu/b3vl
  Replies (8) Good night (2304) Bad night (1087)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.

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  (615): Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours. http://tfl.nu/ireg
  Replies (4) Good night (2085) Bad night (635)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.

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  (+82): I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea. http://tfl.nu/vo0h
  Replies (13) Good night (2012) Bad night (658)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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  (636): It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked. http://tfl.nu/8md6
  Replies (15) Good night (1215) Bad night (511)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.

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  (850): I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry. http://tfl.nu/53sz
  Replies (11) Good night (1558) Bad night (505)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.

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  (570): He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF. http://tfl.nu/a7gm
  Replies (7) Good night (368) Bad night (1239)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Pics or STFU

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  (617): Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward. (1-617): Pics or STFU http://tfl.nu/b1yq
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (298)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.

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  (860): he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE. http://tfl.nu/wid5
  Replies (5) Good night (929) Bad night (295)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.

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  (641): Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever. http://tfl.nu/1kf9
  Replies (12) Good night (1350) Bad night (333)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

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  (425): I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win http://tfl.nu/52ex
  Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (195)

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