I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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