I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask