Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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  (320): If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say? http://tfl.nu/bcus
  Replies (32) Good night (1644) Bad night (593)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.

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  (480): ...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can. http://tfl.nu/7kew
  Replies (5) Good night (2536) Bad night (591)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.

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  (540): I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed. http://tfl.nu/g7od
  Replies (17) Good night (928) Bad night (3727)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

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  (313): awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport http://tfl.nu/bmz0
  Replies (25) Good night (4940) Bad night (659)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.

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  (252): he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox. http://tfl.nu/v0mm
  Replies (45) Good night (9115) Bad night (2690)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.

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  (443): God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse. http://tfl.nu/g7w2
  Replies (18) Good night (3972) Bad night (943)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.

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  (716): My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu. http://tfl.nu/wnz4
  Replies (4) Good night (3944) Bad night (703)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.

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  (902): Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands. http://tfl.nu/svno
  Replies (16) Good night (3383) Bad night (1369)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face

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  (203): I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face http://tfl.nu/kk03
  Replies (27) Good night (4121) Bad night (1456)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

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  (803): I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something. http://tfl.nu/acd6
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (749)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.

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  (575): Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits. http://tfl.nu/8qqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (615)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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  (720): Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver. http://tfl.nu/uanh
  Replies (4) Good night (2285) Bad night (562)
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  (925): View more from California

  Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.

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  (925): Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/tojt
  Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (407)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (341)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college

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  (585): It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college http://tfl.nu/6ip8
  Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (1345)

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