Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.