so that wasnt chicken after all
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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