Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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