and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
