this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
