I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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