You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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