I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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