I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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