Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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