Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
