my mouth tastes like poor choices
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
