I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
