bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
