You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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