I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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