I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
