I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize