soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I love you. Go after that dick
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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