Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
