Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
