I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize