your room smells of hookers.
And success
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
